Self-control means that people control from their self. If we ask someone random about politics, environmental protection or technology, such as self-driving cars, we will hear one opinion. If we ask many people, we will hear not many but a few opinions, some of which are very similar. We tend to assemble a kind of pachwork opinion from information and the thoughts of others, which bears a strong resemblance to the opinions of quite a few others who do the same. So we seem to be more opinion leaders than opinion formers. Thus opinions are unsuitable as a central element for self-control, because they have too little to do with oneself. Experienced dramas are also ruled out. They are indeed individual and also carry a certain part of our aliveness, but unfortunately they are directed into the past and are by their nature more concerned with avoiding destruction than with construction. So one person's dramas are not a good networking point for the others, who have their own dramas. In classical Nonviolent Communication, one works with needs. These are very similarly present in all people worldwide and are well understood. They call us to life movements. But they do not carry any further design logic, which is why in classical NVC one always has to add them with a current and feasible request. With this one can clarify individual problems very well, but it is difficult to imagine to organize a system with this communicative effort. So we need future-oriented life forces that carry a comprehensible design idea. This is how we came up with what we call a person's utopias. You can also call it dreams, individual visions and the like, but the term utopia gave us the most pleasure.

NVC-plus has some toolcards that are numbered. Toolcard 1.1 is the first toolcard for the first field of the four-step circle (small card on the right). It is about freeing the life forces that are stuck in dramas, needs and qualities. As utopias, the life forces can unfold their creativity and creative power and are available for the common processes. An example: the partner says, "Never go to the movies with me!" Her energy comes from drama. Then she thinks about the needs that are stuck in the drama: "I'm all about more connection, fun and togetherness. I've been missing those more and more lately! - Her energy comes from the need. She moves to the next circle segment of the tool card, "I'm all happy and joyful thinking about how we have more togetherness, connection, and fun." Now her energy comes from the qualities of togetherness, connection, and playing together. But the partner doesn't know what to do just hearing that sentence. Will he make suggestions, develop guilt, or both? And where is her creativity? She can come to the last circle segment of the tool card and say: "Just now I realize that I have a utopia for our evening program: Movie and then a leisurely dinner." Now he can name his utopia and then you intertwine the two utopias into a common vision. Of course, this is not the perfect example because it only concerns the organization of a short moment. One will therefore also develop a weekly, monthly, annual or lifetime utopia. One can work with project utopias, corporate utopias or solution utopias for problems. So many things are conceivable and one should not pay too much attention to utopias that are too big, because they are not always more important than the small ones.

The map is part of a map set that you can find in the book, in the app or in the downloads.

For NVC-plus it is essential that people act out of their utopian power. But how do you find to your utopia if you are not inspired at all? How do you find to your natural inner knowledge, which every being involved in the creation possesses out of this involvement? In any case not by thinking too much. Try it sometime with the utopia magic circle. Try it best together with your team, if you want to guess your next step. Because self-direction starts from the conscious self. And remember: Life is utopian in principle!